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15 December 2015 @ 10:45 pm
So many things all at once. Makes my head go boom.  
Alrighty, hello lurkers of Livejournal! How are you doing this evening/morning/afternoon? I have a lot of things to vent out...a lot.

First of all, I miss livejournal. I think I say that every time that I take a small break, but hey I mean I want to update my page when something of significance happens and oh boy do I have some shit to tell you all! Well, it's not shit as in it's the worst news ever, but y'know what I mean.

Where do I even begin? Jeremy and I are still talking, however since I last talked to him about us and if he can see us being more than friends there hasn't been much progression in that. My good friend Max, who is also friends with Jeremy, has been giving me some advice on the subject and he's been talking to Jeremy to see where he's at in terms of like...his feelings for me and such. He told Max that he wants to skype with me to talk about things, and that conversation happened about a month ago. Jeremy hasn't said to me that he wants to skype, but him at least saying that he does I think is a good step forward anyway. But yeah it's been a month since then. I've tried a few times to ask him to skype with me but pretty much he's just been way too busy and/or he can't make free time. SOOOOOO basically I'm hoping that when he can get on winter break within the next week that we can talk about things.

HOWEVER...CURVEBALL TIMES LIKE...100...

First curveball
- I have been talking to this guy, Matt, for about a month now. He lives about 15 minutes away from me in the next town over and he is serious about dating me and wanting to be in a relationship with me. We're going on a date this Saturday to the movies and to walk around an outdoor mall. However, I don't like him at the same intensity that he likes me. Sure he's a really nice guy and he's funny, good looking, we have a lot in common, we've skyped and called eachother on the phone and that's all been really nice; but I still like Jeremy. So that's problem number 1.

Second curveball
- This is probably the biggest gamechanger right here...oh god okay let's just say it. Max, my best friend of like 6 months and best friend to Jeremy, has had a major crush on me since the day we first started talking. How did I know this? Well, I had a gut feeling that he liked me and I could see that from the start. But Max and I were skyping today, as we normally do, and he was being abnormally quiet. I'm keen on sensing when something is bothering him so I asked him what was wrong. He then eventually told me that he has feelings for me and Jeremy doesn't know about it and it's like...BOOM. The sad thing is that this whole time I have been going to Max and asking him for his opinions and advice with both Jeremy and Matt...so that just really sucks. I have no idea what will happen if Jeremy and I were to talk about things and we decide to get together, because i'm sure somehow in some way that bit of information will eventually come out. Like...how will Jeremy take that? One of his best friends having major feelings for me...it's a weird love triangle.

But that was essentially the major things happening. I mean...I still can't believe that skype conversation with Max happened about 4 hours ago. I'm still in a state of shock to be honest. Again, I had a feeling that he liked me but I never knew if it was legitimate because I was being strictly friends with him this whole time...plus he knew of my feelings for Jeremy so I figured there was no way anything like this could happen. Ha well I was wrong. But hey that's life and sometimes you don't plan for this kind of stuff to happen. You just deal with it as it comes and see where it takes you in the future. For now, i'm still planning on going out with Matt to that date this saturday and i'm hoping that in the next few days or so Jeremy and I can properly talk about things between us.

My hands are cramping from writing this, good lord. Okay i'll end it here. That's really all I wanted to say and update on. If anything else happens from this i'll of course let you guys know!
 
 
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